A brick wall is built solid with mortar & clay,
Laying down one brick after another until it towers above,
It sets in time with many bricks meant to stay,
Just like the wall memories cannot be easily undone,
Created a little at a time & day by day,
Towering around us they cannot be ignored,
Here I am listening to bands,
Tonight all I can think of is how this was our dream, to support bands & local businesses & to be self employed someday chasing our dreams, every time I see a white van, every time I smoke, every time I snuggle our cats, you never left. It's been months and you're still here. Everything I do, I just wish you had felt the same, I wish you never gave up on me. You're still here every day. I wish I could take back angry words, I wish there was some fix to this. I still miss you, I still love you.
This feeling creeping in,
Starts like pain behind my eyes,
Tense,
Why did they cut me off?
Why can't that chick get it?
It's building like a volcano,
Hide,
I can't handle society,
I can't handle people,
I'm not in the mood,
Explode,
Pushed too far I snap,
Crazy is showing now,
Heat climbing I forget,
Aftermath,
All my warnings ignored,
Crumbled mess leftover,
Can't unsay those things,
Headache and temperature subside,
Welcome to the struggle of a bad mood.
A writer's enemy,
This blank white page,
Thoughts bouncing around my head,
Fans working to cool unrelenting humidity,
What if I don't know what to write,
Is it always for competition & recognition?
This quiet before the storm,
Maybe writing can simply be,
Can simply exist,
This blank white page.
