Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Happy Birthday 2 Me!

Okay stay with me on this idea; it’s my birthday so I’m writing on a debatable topic. Stay with me to the close on this post. J

 

Let’s start with a quote:

 

"The other way I've always read the quote Amy mentions is: The people who in one generation are totally singular because they were brave enough to challenge the system, in the next inherit their victories. We are all Gloria Steinem’s now -- without the fame, or course -- because we all have the rights that she fought for: to be single and financially independent and so on. So we are the private citizens who have the same rights as yesterday's public heroines." -Baumgardener (Third wave Feminism)

 

http://www.alternet.org/story/9986/a_manifesto_for_third_wave_feminism

 

So I been thinking today women’s rights have come far but is it on track? We have gained our way into the work force and out of the housewife mentality, gained better healthcare like birth control and abortion, we’re gaining the equality rights to be like men and have choices. We didn’t want to stay home but do we have the right to choose now? I find it very difficult for stay at home moms to stay at home. The society pressure to have two working parents is very difficult on many mothers. I personally work because I need to provide for my kids as a single independent mom, but in a different culture wouldn’t I be urged to marry just to be taken care of?

 

Do I still get this pressure to settle down from society? Older generation women pressure younger moms to conform with what society expects, but pleasing people is impossible and irrational. They don’t even understand why “marriage to anyone” idea is being pressured on young, single mothers of this generation. The assumptions of why I am a mother at 24 to 2 kids is that; I’ve damaged, broken, (dirty words describing women inserted here) that I’ll leave out of this post, too independent, not a women of social grooming and higher standards. Perhaps I don’t fit in to the molds of society for a woman should be, is this battle internal or is it truly how the world views women still? Are we fighting our way out of the housewife position only to end up like a men finding someone looking to be taken care of? Do strong, beautifully independent women get lazy men looking to be taken care of? Or do strong men still feel needed around independent women? Men need to feel like they are needed. How can independence and feminism make men feel needed? If I can pay my own bills, live on my own and already have my girls, what would make a man feel needed or like he can take care of me?

 

My point in all this is, I still want the marriage, girly type lifestyle but I’m not able to stay home trusting a man to take care of everything for me. My kids are my responsibility, so where does that leave me? Forced by instinct to work and be essentially both a man and woman of the household, what relationships and society changes will that mean if women like me remain this way? Would I want a career man to swoop in and make me a housewife? Um, not sure that fairytale has ever been my ideal. Perhaps men are becoming more like housewives of the past? What happens in 40 years? When babies are created in test tubes, men are no longer the breadwinner of the households, and women get sick of working and can’t find men with confidence and independence enough to be the breadwinners anymore? Is this a reality or fear? Is this rooted in trust issues in men and society? Or is this a prediction of the wonders of new technology and feminism and the right to choose partners, ordering cookie cutter children, robots dominated society?

 

Lol okay that’s a bit of a tangent but honestly who knows what the future will hold. The better question is what do I want it to hold? What do I want from life? Is the career mindset holding me back or helping me? How do men feel needed if I’m not sure I want to need a man? I want an equal, someone who will work hard like me and find my work ethic as who I am instead of finding guys who want to be taken care of. If I’m seen as a successful person great but somehow that is a double edged sword with attracting the mindset of what that means for others. As I’m entering a new age with lots of perspectives changing daily still, I’m setting out to determine what exactly I want by also not being so concerned with the future. Sometimes this inner strength has provided me with choices, in society its not illegal to be a stay at home mom or even work just part time to help the husband, as well as being able to take care of your children as a single mom if there is no husband. The freedom of choices may not be fully accepted, it’s a judgment type of world we live in, but especially in America, we have the choices and the ability to choose our path or make our own path. I may never understand the mindset of a man, but that’s one process untacklable by anyone and no two people are alike. What the world holds I’m not sure but I do know I’ll always have the right to choose my path and I’ll never be stuck in a bad marriage due to being a housewife with no options so perhaps that is the change the feminist movement truly sought out, the right to not make up our minds and to change our minds often as we wish.

 

Today even Google has told me Happy Birthday! The search icon for Google was all birthday cake lettering and candles with a personal hover message saying “Happy Birthday Jennifer!” Today despite any setbacks in thinking or wondering what the coming years will bring my way, I am on my way to finding out what choices I’ll make along the way. Sometimes simply being happy, disagreeing on politics, opinions, and ideas are all a part of this life. The ability to wear yellow and orange to work today is a personal choice and freedom. The right to life, liberty, and freedom is what America is all about. The right to disagree is a freedom! I don’t have to agree with others if I don’t want to. Life is short, don’t blend in and get lost in the crowds. Stand up for something you believe in or get lost forever. There is a self-confidence found in being simply yourself. I don’t judge others on their different cultures, beliefs or opinions. That’s their personal choice and that is their right. My rights are mine as well. Americans should be allowed to celebrate our country in schools, our faith should be allowed to be practiced no matter what it is or where it is, intolerance to all is lack of understanding for differences. Differences are a beautiful freedom in America. People are human, we judge others within 5 seconds of meeting them and it takes years to change that first impression whether right or wrong it’s how people are. If we just allow instinct to rule us, then we are missing out on life’s true gifts, the ability to change perspectives, control how you react to situations, and the mindset of thinking anything can make a difference if you follow your heart and inner strength to change your instinct and change society by first changing yourself. It all starts with a simple thought, that inner thought can change the world forever if everyone took hold of this idea.

 

Imagine the possibilities of one person changing themselves and affect someone else to think different because of it? Imagine the ripple effects we can have just by being the best we can personally be for ourselves are others? Society is a living breathing community, one spec in the crowd starts walking a new path, what happens next? If she keeps walking even when no one follows, what happens next? Don’t you think curiosity about where that one person is going will kick in? What happens if that person gets followers and still doesn’t know where they are going? Some keep following, others go back,  the destination isn’t important here. It’s the fact that one person does matter. Your thoughts and actions can change society and life as we all know it. You may not see the ripple effects but no one is apart from this concept. We all matter. We have changed our world every day by simply being ourselves for the good and bad, and each day is a new fresh start. Each thought is powerful tool for our future.

 

Happy Birthday 2 Me!!

 

Thank you for reading J

 

*~*JEN*~*

 

 

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